Things I Hate About Flying

Do you prefer to fly when you travel? If you do, then you would be able to relate to my sentiments. I have come up with situations where you might have been or will be in one of these. Know from my experience, learn how to deal with it so that you may still have a comfortable and pleasant flight.

Don't get me wrong. As much as I love flying when I travel, there are things I hate about it also. Below are instances that I hate about flying when traveling as a passenger. I added some tips on how to resolve and help you out in these sticky situations.

• The check-in agent seems to dislike you for a reason you can not fathom. He lets you pay for the excess quarter of a kilo from your baggage. The check-in agent should not charge you if the excess is less than a kilo. If he is adamant about it, talk to his supervisor. If the supervisor sides with the check-in agent, you must make sure that your carry-on bags still have room for additional stuff for a situation like this. You might need to transfer the excess to your hand carry bags.

• Your occupation is clearly written on your immigration card and the immigration officer asks, "Are you a seaman?" It happened to a dear friend of mine. Maybe you are traveling to a place where English is not the medium of communication. You might need to act it out if they still couldn't understand what it is you do for a living. Another helpful tip is to bring a dictionary or those gadgets that can translate.

• You passed a dozen of times by the detector machine and it keeps on beeping. Someone please invent bra snap hooks, buttons of jeans, zippers to be plastic! The ideal clothing for travelers especially when flying is made of natural fibers instead of synthetic materials. Long sleeves, pants and close-toed shoes are preferred. You might want to skip belly buttoned skinny jeans, short shorts and stilettos for the party later.

• They give headsets for free in the flight but the entertainment system is not working. You pretty much can't do anything about it except to write a report and e-mail it to the concerned department. It's almost always a lifesaver to bring your net books, tablets or laptops.

• The flight attendant serving you is diagnosed to have a bipolar disease. Remember to be always courteous to people serving you your food, diagnosed or not.

• Your meal is cold and it is not the salad you are eating. You can always return it to the flight attendant. I'm sure she will be very glad to correct the mistake for you.

• You are seated on the middle and both passengers at your side snore like horses and weigh like water buffalos. During boarding, you could ask the flight attendant to have you re-seated when there is an available seat. Follow up your request after the doors have been closed. If it's a full load flight, you really don't have much choice but to stick with your seat. You can, from time to time, walk a little around the cabin of your class. Always bring earplugs when you travel.

• The turbulence makes your insides go outside. If you have motion sickness, there are tabs to help you on a bumpy ride. Always check the availability of air sickness bags in your seat pocket. You can ask to be re-seated in the front of the same class of the cabin.

• After the flight, you itch like crazy and realized you have been bed bugged! Every aircraft is cleaned every after flight leg and disinfected in frequencies required by the airlines. If you find yourself itchy, antihistamines help a lot but they sure can make you sleepy. So be in a safe place to take a nap. Always make a report as this inconvenience should be rectified.

• Your connecting flight is delayed because of an unruly passenger, who experienced all the above! You must be the unluckiest person, but these things happen. Learn to keep your cool. You could mediate if you feel confident that you can help. Otherwise, leave it to the experts. There are trained people to handle such situation like the ground agent, if on ground or the flight attendant in charge, if inflight.

Don't you just like to metamorphose and become Hulk? You really won't be liked when you are angry. The next time any of these happen to you, be prepared.

Ant America's Flight Attendant

The lighter side of crashing..

Stop Air Ignorance!!!

Forgive the typos..you know what we mean!

Top 10 Reasons To Become A Flight Attendant

Maybe when you were young and flew for the first time, you saw that charming lady in uniform assisting you to your seat. You said to yourself, "I want to be like her." I want to become a flight attendant.
That's how it happened for me. I have been in the industry for 9 years and I say go for it! Most people consider flying to be the safest, most convenient and fastest way to travel. As such, there has been a higher demand of workforce in the aviation industry. Now, if you are a fresh graduate and didn't consider joining the field before, it's not too late to change your mind. There are flight attendant training courses if you want to be ahead of your class when you get hired by airlines or you can do what I did. I applied and got in! I was armed with confidence, captivating smile and a good command of the English language. Don't forget good posture and reasonably acceptable height.

I can say that my flight attendant career feels more like a vacation than a job. Below are more reasons why you should choose to become a flight attendant.

BELONG TO A PRESTIGIOUS FAMILY. Did you ever stare at cabin crews before they embark on the plane? You can't help but turn your head and look. Why? You want to know if they're pretty or cute, right? You expect them to be. They have to be physically pleasant because you will be seeing them for the most part of your flight. The airlines allots a big chunk of its budget to conduct interviews, choose potential candidates, then, train and nurture them as flight attendants. During the interviewing process, primarily they are chosen for their looks, height and weight. Secondary is their communication skills. Thirdly is their work ethics. If you pass these three criteria, you will be honed to exude elegance and grace as projected by the airlines' image. You get to represent the company and have the responsibility to make a good impression. You get to be checked out every time you are wearing your uniform, so smile and be proud.

THE LIKELIHOOD OF ALWAYS BEING SLIM. You may have seen a few overweight flight attendants but I assure you, majority of us has the ideal body weight. For a 14 hour duty, we get to stand for 3 hours, walk and talk for 9-10 hours and sit for an hour or two depending on the passenger load. You can just imagine the workload and the physical strain we put through. It's like a 13 hour workout at the gym!

BECOME A FIRST AIDER. I'm sure you have experienced emergencies before, from a simple nosebleed to cardiac arrest. What did you do? Did you call for help? Did you give help? Or passed out? Don't be ashamed if you didn't know what to do. Giving first aid can be learned. One chapter will be devoted to teach you how to save a person's life in your career as a flight attendant. It will be very useful, not only when you are at work, but in every day of your life.

NOT A SWIMMER? Even if you are applying in one of the Middle East airlines where there are not too many bodies of water surrounding the area, it is still a must to know how to survive in the open water. In case your aircraft ditches, hopefully not, you are able to save yourself and your passengers. Again, this skill will be handy not only in your professional career as a flight attendant but also when you are in your Hawaii vacation.

FAMILIARIZE WITH AIRPORTS. So where do you go after you check in? No idea. Ask the ground staff who checked you in. Where do you go after the immigration? Again, you have no idea. Ask the immigration officer. You don't know which gate you are supposed to go. Ask one of the passersby wearing uniform. Great! You found it. So finally, you are settled with the right gate before boarding commences and with still the calmest composure to go to your flight. To achieve this smooth experience, it is recommended that you have to check in 4 hours before your international flight and 3 hours if you are flying domestic. But, as someone who is familiarized with the ins and outs of airports, I could check in 2 hours before my international flight and an hour and half if I'm going domestic. Or, you could be a frequent flyer who is traveling as frequent as flight attendant flies.

SUNRISE AND SUNSET AT 30,000 FEET ABOVE GROUND LEVEL. I bet that you have marveled when the sun rises or sets at beaches or mountain tops. But have you ever seen the horizon when you are at 36,000 ft high? It makes you think that life is beautiful and that you are blessed to be alive.

WON'T EVER PAY FOR EXCESS BAGGAGE. This is just our little secret but if you are a flight attendant you get this privilege. It pays to have the sweetest smile, apologetic face and a badge that shows you are a flight attendant.

LEARN FIRST CLASS SERVICE. If you are involved in the service industry, it pays to know how to deal with your customers the best way possible. You show professionalism and integrity in what you do. In effect, you elevate the company's image which makes you an asset and you mature as a service provider.

BE PAID ABOVE THE AVERAGE. Yes, the job is risky. Yes, the workload is heavy. It is because you will be paid handsomely. If you are able to manage stress and still hold on to your sanity, you are on your way to big bucks! The number one reason why you should become a flight attendant is YOU GET TO

TRAVEL FOR FREE. The places to see and explore are limitless. Many people are inhibited to travel because of the airfare cost and accommodation expenses. With you, just sign in for your flight, rest in the hotel after the duty, hop on a bus and see the world!

Rapper Flight Attendant

I'm sure some of you have watched this video.  For those who haven't checked out this cool dude, he made the usual boring safety demonstration to an unconventional and entertaining cabin announcement. Yes, yes, yo!

Confessions Of A Flight Attendant II

Hi mate! I am in London today and very chilly outside. As promised, a second batch of my daily endeavors will soon unfold before your eyes. Let's start.

There are lavatories in each zone. The aircraft is divided into zones. The mark to which a zone will end can be a bulkhead (like prefabricated walls), galleys, lavatories or simply a gap among rows. The interior design of the aircraft shares the same concept of comfort and convenience when you are at home. The only difference is that the aircraft is communal and the space is limited. You have to share with everybody who is most probably a stranger to you. You share the aisle, sometimes legroom and most of all the lavatories. Having established that, it is politeness to have it clean for the next person who will use it. Clean means your used tissue in the bin, and toilet is flushed from all evidences. Again, there are lavatories in each zone. If you still don't know where they are, feel free to ask and never pee on a bulkhead just like one of my passengers.


We collect jackets to be hung, used cups, glasses and trays after the service, money (just kidding!) but never your baby's diapers. Come on! Do I look like a garbage truck? Or your household helper or your company's janitor? Please know where to throw those pooped diapers. And never change nappies on the tray table of your seat, where your seat mates in the whole zone would be inhaling the odor of your baby's poop. I know this is common sense. But sometimes for some reason, passengers don't have it in the aircraft.

How to get the attention of a flight attendant? You are thirsty. There are no flight attendant's passing by. One trick that i will teach you is to press a button on your arm rest that has a figure of a person. This is called the flight attendant call button. A light will come on above you, signaling that you needed something. If nobody's coming to you, look if there are other tiny lights above the other's seats. If there are, chances are you will be accommodated after the service(if the service is ongoing)but I hope not. Now, if that won't work, you might have to go to one of the jumpseats or the galleys where the flight attendants usually convene. There might be a reason why nobody is paying attention to your call. If you see that they are galley gossiping, now is the time to be pissed off. Otherwise, consider the trip from your seat to the galley as exercise and a chance for your bum to be lifted from that seat. It's different If you are having an emergency, shout if you must! A passenger's life is our priority above everything else.

Will it hurt if you say please? I feel small when I'm being called by fingers snapping at my face or someone tugging my apron or calling my attention like I was their pet dog or cat. Worse, they don't say please. As if "please" would make them bleed or feel inferior. If you don't know my name because you can't read, you can always say, "Excuse me miss." Manners, manners!

Can you smile for 14 hours everyday? If you can, you must be the happiest person in the planet. Unfortunately for flight attendants, they are required to smile for the whole duration of their duty. Regardless, if someone is sick, somebody died, your parents are on the rocks or you just had a breakup. They leave their personal baggage at home. When they are at work, they should be professional enough to deal with their miseries, guilt, grief and inner trauma.

We don't change money. We do accept other major currencies as payment for sale items onboard. Money changing is not yet part of any airline inflight industry.

Bleeding and hunger. My flight was two hours away to its the destination. It was a six hour flight. Two hours have passed since we finished doing the meal service. One passenger was hysterical and was waving like a maniac in the aisle. As I approached him, he was pointing to his seat mate whose head was bleeding. I asked how it happened. He said when he opened the overhead compartment, one of the heavy briefcases fell on his seat mate's head. I was about to get the first aid kit when he stopped me and said, "Be quick. Give him something to eat.  He is very hungry and 7 up."  I was speechless!

Inflight Safety Demonstration By Little Kids

Aren't they the cutest?

Confessions Of A Flight Attendant I

I have compiled a generous list of misconceptions, peculiar behavior, humorous dialogues and faux pas which happened in a flight attendant's life.

I understand that not all passengers in the aircraft fly frequently.  So as a flight attendant, it is my duty to assist.  However, people mistakenly assume that we are more than what we are supposed to be.  Please know, with all the love for my career, that we are not nannies, porters, waitresses, cleaners, babysitters or worst, your personal servants. We are mainly devoted for your safety.  The rest comes secondary.  My colleagues and I have gone through a lot with the secondary part, from dealing with different personalities onboard, answering queer and annoying requests, correcting old age notions of flying and just being in a hysterically funny situation.

How do you wear your seatbelt?  This is plain common sense but a minority is still incapable of fastening that seatbelt.  Before a flight takes off, a safety demonstration which is totally ignored is being audibly played for passenger's information. For everyone's sake, to fasten the seatbelt, insert the metal flap and attach the two ends.  It should be worn comfortably under the belly, around the hip area.  I have a funny picture of a passenger wearing his seatbelt like how we wear it in a car.  I'm afraid to share the link but you can imagine what I’m telling you, right?
How do you get rid of your toilet waste?  There are bins on the side and a flush button.  If you couldn’t find any of these, please press the eject button so we may not have to deal with you.
Luggage.  The airlines have certain specifications for hand carry bags in terms of size and weight.  If by any chance the check in agent failed to notice your oversized or heavy luggage, do not give the flight attendant a backache by letting her put your things in the overhead compartments.  We do not carry your things as much as you don't carry ours. You were able to bring it from your home to the boarding gate, how is it that you cannot put it where it belongs?  Once in my flight, I had to assist an old man with his briefcase.  It turned out to be as heavy as my suitcase for a four day layover!  "What's in it?" I asked with a smile.  He smiled at me and replied, "Just clothes."  I was thinking, "More like wet clothes."
Sometimes, I couldn't smell my own fart.  Did it happen to you in any of your flights before?  It happened to me so many times.  Taking a bath before the flight must be written in the printed part of the ticket under the dangerous goods section.  Don't they have soap and water at home?  A smelly passenger can pollute the entire zone and can cause nausea or vomiting.  What about if you have loads of them?  I'm sure you won't be able to smell yours also.
I can't remember all your special requests.  The memory span of a flight attendant is greatly reduced when she is flying longer and farther.  Plus, if there are more than ten lighted call buttons, I can't be your superwoman.  As much as I want to give all that you are asking from me, understand that I can forget but still doing my best.
If your feet stink, put your shoes on.  This is quite self explanatory.
Can't you see I'm eating?  The written rule says that flight attendants can't eat during the service.  After we have nourished you with the airlines frozen then reheated preserved food, it's time for us to eat...the same thing.  Some people who were sleeping during good manners and right conduct (GMRC) class needed to be instructed that if a person is eating, leave him be until he finishes his meal.  Unless, you are suffering dehydration, I will give you your water.  Unless, you are having a diabetic attack, I will give you your mango juice.  Unless the aircraft is on fire, there's no need to have another bite.  Otherwise, please let me be for 15-20 minutes.
We don't serve water at room temperature.  We serve hot, cold or lukewarm potable water.  For any other preferred water temperature, ask from a coffee shop or restaurant.
We offer choices.  A friend of mine shared his story.
Flight attendant:  Hello sir/madam! Would you like to have a drink?
Sir/Madam: What are my choices?
Flight attendant: Yes or no.
This may be a bit harsh if you were the passenger.  But if you were in the same row where the choices have been reiterated for two to three times, what were you doing?  Sleeping?  Oh well, part of the job!
I don't mean to undermine or discriminate.  I make it to a point to find humor in the most annoying circumstances I have ever been to.  If I can't, then I say to myself, "All in a day's work of a flight attendant."
I have yet more to share.  Another batch of confessions will be made in a few days.  I hope I made you smile.  If you aspire to become a flight attendant like me, I hope I inspired you instead of turning you off.  Remember, work becomes lighter if you are having fun.